Justifying Mr. X's bottomless pit of excuses...

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And just like the busyness of these linear lines, Mr. X came up with excuse after excuse about how "busy" he was, so much so I could hardly keep track of it anymore - Kathleen Sleigh

Time and time again I would find reasons to justify all the excuses that Mr. X had for not being able to see me (more like not wanting to see me because he simply couldn't be bothered). Rather than face the reality that he was just not into me, I justified all his excuses because in my mind he was the perfect guy. I didn't want to face the pain that he actually just did not want to see me. Justifying his excuses took away that reality and allowed me to stick around, and believe this fantasy I had in my head that he actually liked me and wanted to spend time with me. I can't even tell you the amount of times Mr. X made excuses because there were so many, but I will list some of them:

Excuse 1:

Kat: Hey so big news, I am moving to Devon!

Mr. X: Oh wow that's big news and really exciting! We should celebrate!

Kat: Yes let's celebrate next week before I leave

Mr X. never followed this up when he knew I was leaving so soon and I had other, more important people to see. In the end I told him not to worry about it. But this made him chase me more because he wanted to obviously have that one last bang of course. But instead of going out and celebrating, he invited me over to his place in which was supposed to be surrounded by wine and candles according to him. Well, I never got that wine and candles. Again, another manipulation tactic to get me to come over and have sex with him. Seriously... everything was about him, he had a tough day at work and needed space. Fair enough, but I know he was just using me for sex to escape that stress. Once he got what he wanted out of me he told me to leave... I ended up staying but that's besides the point.

Excuse 2:

Kat: Would you like to do something this weekend?

Mr. X: I should be around Sunday if you are free

Kat: Yes Sunday sounds good

Saturday before

Kat: Hey guapo, are we still on for tomorrow?

Mr. X: Hey guapa I'm really sorry but I went out last night and got sick so not sure if I'll be up for tomorrow. I'm meant to be going to mum's house then so if I'm feeling better I'll come say hi (he may well have been sick but again, probably another excuse)

Kat: Aww sorry to hear you are sick! Hope you get better soon

Sunday afternoon

Kat: Are we still on for later guapo? You feeling any better?

No reply

Sunday night

Kat: Ok guapo, I'm off to bed. Would have been nice to see you but hope you feel better soon

Of course Mr. X didn't have the decency to reply back to me, even though they were not set in stone plans. I cannot stand when my messages do not get acknowledged. It is common courtesy to reply.

And so the list goes on and eventually I ended up trying to force him to see me whether it was going out for drinks or having sex. It got to a point where he said he will see about going out when really he just did not want to, but just couldn't be bothered being upfront about it. And whenever I asked him over for sex he always said he couldn't. Either because he was lazy or was banging some other chick that night. Whatever the case, I always moved mountains to make effort to see him when I was not getting the same in return... it wasn't fair. Every time he wanted me over for sex I was always available. He didn't deserve me putting in that time and effort at all. Especially for sex.

My point is is that when we are attached to the wrong guy and fear losing them, we justify reasons for their poor behaviour. Reasons we would never justify in our friendships so to think we would do it in a casual relationship is crazy! If we wouldn't accept excuses from our friends then why do it for these 'barely there' asswipes? It makes no sense at all.

If someone genuinely wants to see you, it doesn't matter how busy they are. They will make time. They all have 7 days in the week like us and as I read somewhere, "if they have time to take a s**t then they have time to text". It's that simple. If guys are constantly going to make excuses not to see you then it is obvious that they do not want to see you. It's a hard reality to accept but one in which we need to in order to not make a fool out of ourselves. Trying to force them to see us doesn't get us anywhere and only comes across as needy. Not only that, but we throw away our dignity and self worth by putting energy into seeing him, when we could be putting it into making time for ourselves and the people that care about us.

As hard as it is, you need to stop justifying his pathetic excuses, see people who genuinely want to see you and will make effort for you, and stop wasting time on this douchebag. He doesn't deserve a second of it.

DROP THE MIC!!!

#selfworth