No tags yet.
"I have learned to become my own best friend, enjoy my time alone and be able to accept that I am allowed to be happy and accept life on my terms" - Kathleen Sleigh
Hello my fellow Youer than You blog followers! It has been a little while since I last posted and for those of you who follow me religiously, I am so sorry! I have been extremely busy with work and socialising, but I have also been taking time out to myself. I don't like that I have neglected my blog and I certainly do not want it to die out just yet, or ever!
As you all know, each of my posts are inspired by how I am feeling in that particular moment. At this point in time in my life, I have been learning and been continuing to learn how to focus on myself, what it is I am proud of and what I really want out of life to ensure my happiness comes first. And most importantly, the things I need to do in order to look after myself.
A lot has changed since I have moved to London - I have been through many ups and downs, both in which have made me stronger (especially the downs!). I honestly feel like I can take on anything. I can't remember if I mentioned in my last few posts that I went through an extremely traumatic time back in April and it has made me appreciate me as a person, my friends and family I am so lucky to have and how strong and resilient I am. As much as I appreciate all the support I receive from my amazing friends and family, I really have learned to become my own best friend and rely on myself to feel better and get out of bad situations. At the end of the day, I am all that I have got and if I can rely on myself, then I can handle anything that lie throws at me. I think that is one of the biggest steps I have taken in my life - learning to let go of relying on others and seeking their validation about things. It only matters how I see, feel and think about situations, no one else. And it is only me who can fix situations that occur in my life, especially situations I put onto myself.
Therapy and medication have really helped my self worth and self growth and I don't know where I would be without them. In saying that, Thursday was my last ever CBT session and it is so bittersweet because my therapist had confidence that I was ready to be discharged but apart of me wasn't wanting to leave (even though I knew I was ready). I have come so far in my progress in terms of how I react to situations, my pattern of thinking and my self worth as a whole.
Everyone that knows me knows that I am an emotional person who always wears my heart on my sleeve, and that won't ever change. But CBT has allowed me to be more logical and not so emotional in my thinking, which has resulted in me being more patient with my responses to situations. Prior to CBT, I would normally react and say whatever it was on my mind without thinking which often led to terrible consequences, but now I am able to take a step back and let myself think, take some deep breaths and work out the best approach and response to a situation (especially a negative one). And it doesn't only benefit me, but also the other party/parties involved because no unnecessary drama is created. I am so much more a better person for it, and I don't only feel good within myself but all my friends and family feel good to be around me. And it such a nice feeling to be putting out good energy.
As much as I am in a good place and really enjoying being in it, I know that bad things can still happen to good people like me, and that it is OK to have days where I am not always feeling so positive and alive, that's normal and realistic. I am less likely to be more hard on myself when I can accept that bad situations are inevitable and that it is how I respond to them that counts.
I am enjoying life so much more because I am more present and patient which allows me to be more logical and real with life.
My list of goals that my therapist would like me to achieve in my daily and weekly routine moving forward are the following:
1. Gym, with the end goal being three times a week but starting to go once to twice a week to build up to that end goal
2. Walking on my own without being on my phone or even thinking about anything
3. Doing EXTRA things (and these don't have to be major things, just something in my week that is different and stands out in my week)
4. Journal writing
5. Writing in my blog
6. Me time
7. Going out more (which I have already started to do)
8. Healthy eating
9. Adding to my list of qualities and skills
And there is a few more on my list (which I don't have on me) that I don't recall
Achieving these goals is a challenge but not an impossible one. My therapist will follow up with me in 3-4 months to see how I am going with it, and by then I should have it all covered (on my own) which is super exciting.
I wanted to share this with you because I used to be one of those people (and still can be at times)who was really hard on myself. And I think we all are hard on ourselves and are our own worst enemies at times. We find it so easy to compliment others but find it so hard to compliment ourselves and we need to give ourselves more credit! We were all brought on this earth for something, otherwise we wouldn't be here. The goal is to learn to love yourself so that no matter what happens, you always will love yourself, and you deserve that.
I have a list of about twenty four things and counting of the qualities and skills I love about myself, in detail. It is one of the best ways to realise how amazing you truly are and that you have so much to offer. From time to time (although I should really be doing this daily) I read my list and have a huge grin on my face during and after reading it because I know I am an amazing person with amazing qualities and skills, and had I have not actively want or make change towards how I see myself, I would never have come up with such a big list, or any list at all for that matter. And if I did, I probably wouldn't believe it anyway. It feels so good to look at that list and truly believe it.
Please know that you are not in alone in having bad things happen to you, you are not alone in critiquing yourself and you sure as hell aren't alone in responding emotionally to situations. Always remember that it is how you respond to situations is what will change the outcome. It's hard work, but if you're willing to make changes in your life so that you are more present and patient within yourself, then the journey is so worth it.
Look after yourself always and work towards doing something nice for yourself every single day!
Love and light,
Kat
xxxx