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We all know the saying that 'every cloud has a silver lining'. Now I want you to read that back - how much do you believe this old adage? And why?
As Collins Dictionary states:
'If you talk about a silver lining, you are talking about something positive that comes out of a sad or unpleasant situation'
During our tough times, it is really hard to believe this old adage (trust me, I know!) but it is so important to remember that yes, there is always good that comes out of bad situations, even if it may not seem so from the beginning, and especially during the unpleasant situation.
The reason I wrote this post today is because I had recently been going through a really tough time in my life where a few unfortunate events all happened at once and I just could not cope... as you all know I have anxiety and depression and so my stress was even more escalated because of that! Admittedly, I was in bed for a week, had not showered for at least four days, was eating nothing at all or if I was I was eating crap, and was either sleeping too much or not at all. It was HORRIBLE!
It was so hard to get out of that headspace because it didn't feel like anything would ever get better, but eventually I got so sick of staying in bed that I had no choice but to do the opposite and get myself up! And that I did, and I have never felt better. Each day got a little easier and I did little things to make myself feel better like calling Samaritans for support, having that first shower after four days. Even eating only a bowl of Weetabix for the whole day was an achievement when I think about the days I didn't eat anything at all... and this is why things got better for me because I wasn't too hard on myself for being so down... I knew that when I was ready I would decide to make things better and that by doing little things, that it was a start.
We all go through tough times and bouts of depression (even those of us who are not diagnosed) and I want you to know that it is completely normal and ok to feel down. There is so much negative stigma about being sad and depressed that people don't realise it is a normal human reaction to trauma... and that everyone deals with it in their own way. I'm not saying I condone being a sad sack forever, what I am saying is that it is ok to be sad, angry and hurt and to sit with that. Because by accepting it and being at our lowest of lows, it only means that we are able to recognise how much better things can be. A lot of people like to put the brave face on and shut out these emotions but in the long run, it isn't healthy. Be as sad for as long as you need to be, get it out until you can't anymore, because you will get over it eventually, and your true friends will always be there for you and stick by you and be patient with you. Never block it out!
I'll tell you my reasons why every cloud has a silver lining:
Every bad situation is TEMPORARY
Think about the good memories/people/things you have in your life that have overcome the bad times
Everything happens for a reason and even the most unpleasant of situations lead us to something so much better (not always straight away, but eventually)
If we are still here alive and well on this earth, then we believe this old adage because we are still deciding to live our lives throughout the tough times!
Think about all the hardships and pain you have been able to get through and ended up being the strongest, happiest, fierce and most amazing human being because of it
There is always good that comes out of every bad situation
I have hope and faith and this is what helps me be positive throughout every bad situation
I choose to be optimistic and realistic about unfortunate events because they are beyond my control
I want you to remember these eight points whenever you are going through a tough time. You might agree with some or all of these reasons, you may not at all. Or you may have more reasons to add to the list! (which would make me so happy and I would love for you to share with me if you would like).
I'm not perfect by any means, and I have days where I think about this list and think that it is total bulls**t! (giggling as I write this) but then I realise that I need to snap out of that because it's self-defeating thinking. Don't get me wrong, whenever a new tough situation comes my way I get angry and I often ask the universe "why do you keep testing me like this? Aren't you done bringing me heartache and misfortune?" I'm sure we all think this when one bad thing after another keeps happening... it's very frustrating not to be positive when we have been through so much! But remember, life is always a lesson and we never stop learning and growing. Bad things happen so that we can learn from them and appreciate the good things we have. It doesn't mean that bad things should happen all the time, you just have to remind yourself that each time they do, that there is always a positive reason/s for it.
You are not alone in going through tough times, I have had my fair share of them - especially in London! Sometimes I cannot believe some of the things I have gone through since moving here. But I am living proof that things do get better and that there is always hope within a bad situation, you just need to hold onto that and be committed to believing that things do get better, and that you want things to get better for YOU!
I believe in you, have faith in you and have hope for you.
And never forget that I am always here for you if you need me.
Now, go off on your amazing journey and enjoy finding your very own 'silver lining'
Love and light,
Kat
xoxox