How being an 'option' is ripping you off

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"The more I let him treat me like an option, the bigger the cracks in my tolerance became". - Kathleen Sleigh

Ladies, we have all been in the position where we have been ripped off because of allowing men to treat us like options. Even though we know we deserve more, we bend over backwards for these men to please them, at the cost of us not being treated with the utmost priority. When we are on our own we understand the meaning of how important it is to be a priority in a relationship and we tell ourselves how we will make ourselves a priority when we meet someone. Then the moment we come across that guy who has the charm and the attraction we all of a sudden forget what being a priority actually means. We reduce ourselves to being treated like options because we want to please these men who could care less about our feelings and our needs.

Everything we stand for gets thrown into a deep, dark hole and we put all our needs aside for these men. We miss events with friends to see these men, because we know that if we don't make the effort to see them that they won't. We so desperately seek their attention to the point we lose ourselves because we fear losing them. I can't even tell you the amount of times I've been late for work, appointments, meetings with friends and even cancelling things with friends because of guys. Because in my mind I knew they weren't giving me what I wanted so I was trying to force them to give me what I wanted which made me work even harder in this barely there relationship. It's as if I was walking upwards on a downward direction escalator or vice versa (and we've all done that as children, right? And how much effort and energy does that take up...)

Us women are way too hard on ourselves when we have so much potential and don't even realise it when we are in these situations. You are gold and you deserve the world, you deserve to be a priority in someone's life, not an option. By allowing yourself to be an option you're selling yourself short and that is not something to be proud of. Again, this all goes back to the energy you put in is what you get back. If you're going to tolerate being treated like an option then that is what you will continue to receive.

When we lower our standards to allow men to treat us like options, we are inviting them through the door so easily to treating us with disrespect and as a result we lose ourselves because of it. These men end up losing more respect for us because of it. They aren't stupid, they know that you always put everything aside for them, they know that you will be at their beck and call when they need you, they know that you put way more effort in for them than they deserve. And trust me when I say this, they are definitely wondering why on earth you are still sticking around even though you are not getting what you want. They know they don't want to be in a relationship with you and they know you know that but it's ok for them because they know that you will drop everything for them just to get what they want without it being a relationship. They actually think that YOU are stupid for sticking around because they know that you think so low of yourself and as a result they couldn't be with someone that they disrespect, so you're really not winning in being an option yet here you are desperately trying to show them how amazing you are. As harsh as this may sound, they really don't care about how amazing you are. If they wanted to be with you then they would, but they don't and this should be reason enough to walk away and do better for yourself. Find someone who appreciates every single part of you and will make you a priority.

Show these men where the exit door is because they don't deserve to be welcomed into your home of boundaries. Imagine they are some random stranger - now you wouldn't let a random stranger into your home so welcomingly would you? You need to apply that same concept when it comes to men and not allowing them to cross boundaries. It's simple, just don't open the door to them walking all over you and crossing those boundaries. It's not worth the embarrassment and the heartache.

Know your worth and don't rip yourself off. Make yourself a priority because if you do, then others will too.

Xxx

#respect