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Positive thinking: "I am going to have the most amazing day today no matter what happens".
Helpful thinking: "So my heating is not working. I can either sit here, cry and be upset and angry over it or I can workout possible solutions to the problem and make myself feel more at ease".
This dedication post goes out to my lovely Sarah who has made a second suggestion for me to write about (thank you Sarah for being one of my biggest fans!). Sarah wanted me to explore the difference between positive thinking and helpful thinking and how helpful thinking is more powerful. When I first saw this suggestion I didn't actually think there was a difference between the two and actually thought that they were interchangeable terms when in fact, after doing my research I discovered that they are two completely different ways of thinking. So let's explore them.
Positive thinking:
Involves positive affirmations like 'I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am loved'
Telling yourself you are going to be happy no matter what happens in your day/life
Being positive in negative situations
Being grateful about the small and large pleasures
Helpful thinking:
Is all to do with logic
Thinking about the solutions to a problem
Asking yourself how you can work through a difficult situation so that it doesn't lead to chaos
You may think that positive thinking is overall a good thing - well... you're not entirely wrong. Positive thinking is so important for self worth and self esteem and we should always be positive no matter what comes our way. Negative situations are inevitable and it's up to us to either be negative about those situations or have the power to think positively and let love and unconditional happiness in. The danger in positive thinking can be evident when we tell ourselves we are amazing and beautiful and worthy because whilst some of us are genuinely humble about those aspects of ourselves, there are people who choose to be overly confident, arrogant and think they're God's gift about these aspects and then this can lead to narcissism. These people take advantage of the whole purpose of positive thinking which is a real shame because positive thinking exists to feel love, not be so grandiose about it. Also, positive thinking is not always an easy thing to do and there are moments in our lives where we can genuinely choose to feel like s**t if something really terrible has happened like someone close to us has died or we have found out something negative about our health. In those instances, positive thinking is not always helpful during those times at first because they are such difficult situations to be able to process. Sometimes it can take awhile until we are ready to think positively after going through such tough situations.
Helpful thinking however, is all to do with logic and behaviour which can actually help us to think positively and this is exactly what I have been focussing on with my therapist in my CBT sessions. When we think logically we are able to be level-headed about things and approach them in a logical and calm manner which then results in positive thinking. When we are calm and level-headed we can think positively. And this is why it is so much more powerful over positive thinking. I'm not sure if you guys remember my Instagram post where told you I had the worst day ever and that everything that could go wrong did go wrong? Well, as much as I tried to stay calm I ended up breaking down in tears but I was able to compose myself and ask myself what solutions are there that I can use to solve this problem? And if I can't work out a solution what can I do next? Once I was able to compose myself and think logically, it was easier to feel calm and more positive about the situation. Whenever we are in negative situations it is all about catching yourself in the negative thought process before you are not able to think logically. It is a difficult thing to master but once you do, you find it easier to say NO to your negative thoughts and say YES to logic.
I want you to write down about negative experiences you've had where you were faced with having to make a tough decision in order to turn it to a positive experience - did you ask yourself what solutions there were to solve the problem? Did you ask yourself what's the worst that could happen if you did/didn't do this? Did you ask yourself how else you could look at this situation? Asking yourself these questions puts things into a logical perspective and helps you make better decisions.
When it comes to positive thinking, don't allow it to boost your ego and turn you into a narcissist. Yes, you deserve to tell yourself you are amazing, beautiful worthy and stunning but be humble about it. There is a difference between loving yourself and being in love with yourself. Don't allow the bad days to stop you thinking positively because remember, bad days are going to exist and it is up to you to change how you react to those bad days by thinking positively.
Sarah, I hope this emphasises your point about how helpful thinking is more powerful than positive thinking. I think we need to use both in our lives and both treat them as important but always remember that helpful thinking leads to positive thinking.
Once you master that you are on the path to leading your best and most successful life!
Love and light,
Kat
XXX